Photo by Deborah L Carlson

Letting Go to Grow: Exploring Aparigraha in Everyday Life

In a world that often tells us to hold on tightly—whether to stuff, roles, youth, or old stories—Aparigraha, the fifth Yama in the yogic tradition, invites us to do the opposite. Often translated as non-possessiveness or non-grasping, Aparigraha asks: What might open up if we loosen our grip, if we let go?

At Sageview Wellness, we often hear from clients and students in their 50s, 60s, and beyond who are navigating a season of life where letting go isn't just a spiritual ideal—it’s necessary. Children leave home. Careers wind down. Bodies change. And yet, within all of this, there's deep wisdom waiting.

The Monkey Trap: A Story About Holding On

There’s an old story that speaks volumes about the human struggle with letting go.

In parts of South Asia, hunters once used a clever trap to catch monkeys. They would place a banana inside a cage or a jar with an opening just wide enough for the monkey’s hand to slip through. The monkey would reach in, grab the banana—and find itself trapped. As long as its fist was clenched around the prize, it couldn’t pull its hand out. The hunters didn’t need to chase or restrain the monkey. All they had to do was wait. The monkey trapped itself by refusing to let go.

We may not be monkeys, and bananas may not be our vice—but how often do we do the same?

We hold tightly to identities, expectations, relationships, old habits, or the idea of how things should be. And in doing so, we limit our freedom.

What Is Aparigraha, Really?

In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali offers Aparigraha as a guide for living lightly and authentically. It’s not about renouncing all our belongings or relationships—but rather, shifting our relationship to them. Are we clinging out of fear? Are we over-identifying with our possessions, titles, or routines?

The most commonly cited Yoga Sutra for Aparigraha is Yoga Sutra II.39 (Sutra 2.39), which speaks directly to the power of non-possessiveness:

Sanskrit: aparigraha-sthairye janma-kathamta-sambodhah

Translation
When one is steadfast in non-possessiveness (aparigraha), the knowledge of the purpose of birth is revealed.

Interpretation

Patanjali is suggesting that when we release our attachment to material things and the compulsion to accumulate, we begin to see our life’s deeper meaning. By letting go of distractions and clinging, clarity arises—about who we are and why we're here.

Practicing Aparigraha means releasing the attachment to outcomes, the need for more, or the idea that we must "do it all" to be worthy.

What We Possess, Possesses Us

It’s easy to think of possessions as neutral things—objects we own, roles we’ve earned, routines we’ve chosen. But often, they begin to shape us more than we realize. The house we once dreamed of becomes a burden to maintain. The title we worked so hard for becomes something we fear losing. The habits we’ve formed become invisible cages. In truth, what we possess can begin to possess us. Practicing Aparigraha means regularly checking in: Is this still serving me, or am I serving it?

Aparigraha and Aging Gracefully

As we age, there’s a natural opportunity to practice this Yama more deeply. We begin to see that life isn’t about accumulating—it’s about curating. What do we really need? What still brings us joy or meaning? And what have we outgrown?

A few reflections to consider:

• Letting go of physical clutter: Simplifying our homes can bring a surprising sense of peace.
  
• Releasing expectations: Especially those we’ve placed on ourselves for how life “should” look at this stage.
  
• Grieving and moving forward: Aparigraha doesn’t ask us to skip grief—but to honor it and not cling to the past.
  

On the Mat

We can practice the posture - Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclining Bound Angle Pose)

This gentle, restorative pose is a beautiful physical expression of Aparigraha. It encourages the body to soften and the mind to release effort and expectation.

How to Practice

• Lie on your back with the soles of your feet together and knees dropping open like butterfly wings.
  
• Place yoga blocks or folded blankets under each knee for support.
  
• Optionally, rest one hand on your heart and the other on your belly.
  
• Close your eyes and stay for 3–10 minutes, breathing gently.
  

Reflection:
As you rest here, notice any gripping—physical or mental. Can you release just a little more? Can you trust the support beneath you?

Journaling Prompt...Letting Go, Opening Up

Take a few quiet moments with your journal and explore:

“What am I holding on to that might be holding me back?”

It could be a belief, a habit, a physical object, or even a version of yourself that no longer feels true. Without judgment, write about what it feels like to release just a little of that grip—and what space might open if you did.

The Gift of Letting Go

Aparigraha isn’t about having less—it’s about needing less. It’s about living with enough, so there’s space for what really matters.

Letting go isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of something more aligned, more peaceful, and more you.

The jewel of Aparigraha invites us to enjoy life to the fullest and yet always be able to drop everything and run into the waiting arms of the Divine.

As we move through the seasons of life, may we find strength not in what we hold on to—but in what we’re willing to release.

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